BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II
(This has been circulating virally and without attribution.)
After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.
“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work—including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule—our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories— Japan and Germany . The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests—they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”
German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US ; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany ’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented ” France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
[Hat tip to Marc Stern]
Comments
Hah! Thanks for the chuckle this morning.
Posted by: superdude | December 9, 2008 09:44 AM
with defeats of … Sweden, …
Sweden was neutral!
German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US ;
Add an SR to the US and it would be correct. BTW, Russia also defeated Hungary, Roumania and Bulgaria - might explain why the Soviet Union stayed on there to party just like the US, Brits and Frogs did in Germany.
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
Manchuria - the Soviet Union won convincingly in extra time (Operation August Storm) after also trashing Japan in their first match-up (Battle of Khalkin Gol).
Posted by: blowback | December 9, 2008 01:42 PM
with defeats of … Sweden, …
Sweden was neutral!
German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US ;
Add an SR to the US and it would be correct. BTW, Russia also defeated Hungary, Roumania and Bulgaria - might explain why the Soviet Union stayed on there to party just like the US, Brits and Frogs did in Germany.
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
Manchuria - the Soviet Union won convincingly in extra time (Operation August Storm) after also trashing Japan in their first match-up (Battle of Khalkin Gol).
Posted by: blowback | December 9, 2008 01:42 PM
Blowback:
You forget that the Soviet Union couldn’t even get past a Division III opponent, Finland, in its season opener. Almost as big an upset as Appy State over the Wolverines, for crying out loud.
Posted by: yashko | December 9, 2008 01:47 PM
Finland isn’t a Div III team. They’re at least a solid I-AA team (like Appalachian State)
Posted by: John | December 9, 2008 04:01 PM
Finland hardly counts. Home-field advantage is huge for these cold-weather teams. Fumbles in the snow and all that.
Posted by: Andrew Gelman | December 9, 2008 10:45 PM
Nothing compares to the rivalry between Germany and France. The earlier seasons saw victories for both teams
For example:
Franco-Prussian war of 1870 was a strong victory for Germany.
In the War of the Fourth Coalition (1806) QB Napoleon had little difficulty getting his forces deep into German territory - all-in-all a great victory by France, due to a splendid ground game and bad defence by the Germany team.
But the post was partly wrong: Germany never defeated team Sweden (ranked #40 in the European conference) since Sweden would forfeit the game by not showing up, and decided to stay neutral by the sidelines all through the fight.
Posted by: J Nilsson | December 11, 2008 09:07 PM